Widow, Widower, or Widowed: A Guide to Using the Correct Term

Is there really a difference between a ‘widow, ‘widower,’ and ‘widowed’?

No one wants to be referred to as a widow, widower, or widowed as it suggests the death of a spouse. Knowing when to use them can also be challenging, whether you're talking to a friend or trying to figure out what to say on a death anniversary.

And these three terms refer to the loss of a spouse. However, it’s important to know which word to use in a particular situation as they are different.

When to use widow

A woman whose spouse has passed away is referred to as a widow. When a woman loses her husband, she becomes known as a 'widow' instead of a wife. Although she may retain the title of 'Mrs.', she is no longer married.

Retaining the title of “Mrs.” and keeping their wedding ring on is something many widows prefer, especially if their significant other passed away later in life – and they were deeply in love. Even if they are a widow, they will maintain the external symbols of marriage as long as there is no possibility of dating or remarriage.

There is a possibility that a younger woman whose husband has died may remarry. If a widow remarries, she will no longer be called a “widow”. Once again, she will become a wife after marrying her new husband.

When is the word widower used?

To refer to a man who has lost his wife, the term widower is commonly used. Unlike women, his title, 'Mr.', remains the same throughout his life, regardless of his marital status. Although his title and name have not changed, he is now a widower.

Like widows, many older widowers choose to honor their late wives by keeping their wedding bands on. Often, younger widowers who decide to date again will stop wearing their wedding band to signify their transition from being a married man to a widowed one.

When a man remarries, he becomes a husband to his new wife and is no longer referred to as a widower.

When is it acceptable to say widowed?

The term widowed is used to describe someone whose spouse has passed away. When a spouse dies before their significant other, they become widowed. This term is commonly used in conversation when referring to someone who is no longer married.

Widowed is a gender-neutral term that can be used to refer to a person who has lost their spouse, while widow specifically refers to a woman in this situation and widower to a man. When discussing the state of losing a spouse without specifying the individual's gender, this term is useful due to its inclusivity.

Using the correct terms when referring to spouses who have lost a loved one

It is crucial to use the correct terms when referring to bereaved spouses for several reasons as it shows empathy, respect, and understanding of the individual's situation. Discussing bereavement requires the use of appropriate terms, including widow, widower, and widowed, as outlined below:

• Respect and empathy: Acknowledging and respecting the individual's loss and the emotions they may be experiencing is demonstrated by using the proper terminology. The bereaved person can receive comfort and support from the conveyed empathy and understanding.
• Clear communication: Using the appropriate vocabulary can prevent any confusion or misinterpretation during verbal or written exchanges. The intended meaning is effectively conveyed and the bereaved person's situation is accurately represented.
• Cultural sensitivity: Widowhood and the grieving process may be perceived differently across various cultures, each with its own customs, beliefs, and expectations. Fostering a more inclusive and understanding environment is possible by demonstrating cultural sensitivity and awareness through the use of appropriate terms.
• Acknowledging gender differences: Widow and widower refer specifically to women and men who have lost their spouses, respectively, while widowed is an inclusive term for both genders. Acknowledging the gender of the bereaved spouse using the correct terms can be an essential aspect of their identity and the grieving process.
• Etiquette and politeness: Using the appropriate terminology when discussing sensitive topics such as bereavement is considered polite and respectful in social situations. Displaying an understanding of social etiquette and consideration for the feelings of others is shown by doing so.